Whatever the reason, its also important to remember that the relationship between mother and son is very complex. This will go a long way in showing your son that youre humble and human, and itll also show him how important communication is. The reasons for this are manifold, but often include a lack of understanding or empathy on the part of the son and a lack of communication between the generations.eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_7',168,'0','0']));eval(ez_write_tag([[320,50],'ciprofamily_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_8',168,'0','1']));.medrectangle-3-multi-168{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. This goes full circle to show your son how much you care, that youre human, and that youre willing to go to great lengths to build a healthy mother-son relationship. The son may feel like he cant live up to his mothers expectations or that he must take care of her emotionally. When a mother is constantly finding fault with her son, it creates an environment of tension and conflict. For further study, you may want to read my articles about sons who treat their mothers poorly and sons closeness to their mothers and fathers, as well as check out the additional resources listed below. They are often very close, but they can also be at odds with each other. She might even tell you what classes to take in school or if you should get married or have children. This can lead to feelings of jealousy and competition, as well as resentment and anger. Many times, a son will hate his mother because she is continually crossing boundaries, criticizing, and disrespecting his choices. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. The login page will open in a new tab. The sons may feel their mothers do not trust the sons actions nor have the sons well-being in mind. This will bolster the young child's ego. Then, I got a call back that no . I cant imagine my sons hating me, but Im sure neither can most moms. This can lead to the son feeling like he can never please his mother, no matter what he does. He doesnt talk about his mother with others in his relationships. Parenting by definition isnt overbearing or controlling. Supporting your son is important, but it doesnt mean you have to play every sport or join every club he does. This relationship between a mother and son is full of frustration and anger. Showing little or no respect for her boundaries, opinions, and feelings. We can spend all day listing everything our mothers do for us and how much they mean to us. This is usually tied to the mothers personal loneliness. Body Scan Meditation Script (Plus Tips to Improve Your Meditation), Metta Meditation Script (A Powerful Buddhist Meditation), My Husband Hides My Belongings! Looking the other way is allowing abuse to happen on your watch. This may mean talking to a therapist or counselor who can help them deal with their feelings and figure out how to best cope. You can also get psychological or medical advice from professionals who can help you recover from this harmful behavior! Jackie has been a teacher for many decades with awards and accolades from all across the country. The narcissistic mother will often start out by idealizing her son and putting him on a pedestalalmost like a display object. And a son from a loving mother may love her back, or hate her. Check out our Have A Peaceful Home Without Yelling video course here. This type of behavior can be extremely harmful to the son, as it can lead to him feeling suffocated and unable to live his life the way he wants to. The son feels like hes not good enough for his mother. It may not seem a stretch to imagine a son hating a mean, harmful mother, but some sons truly hate their mothers, despite the moms being utterly caring and loving. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'littleninjaparenting_com-box-4','ezslot_3',149,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-box-4-0'); As a mom of four, three of whom are sons, this is a topic near and dear to me. The son also needs to do his part by ensuring he keeps healthy boundaries with his mother and maintains a balance between his mother and spouse. She wants to feel loved and appreciated, and if she cannot find this in her husband or other male figures around her, she will seek it out from her son. This can lead to sons taking their mothers for granted and forgetting to show them appreciation. A majority of moms also believed their child's mental health or addiction issues played a role. Here are some types of dysfunctional mother-son relationships: The Oedipal mother-son relationship is one in which the son perceives his mother as a sexual rival. But this can lead to many problems between a mother and son because he will feel like she is always right. She is a former public school teacher of 18 years, licensed in 3 states and certified to teach elementary, secondary English, and English Language Learners. its a sign of an unhealthy mother-son relationship. But if you notice that she never has anything interesting to say when she calls, that could signify that shes missing something in her life besides being your mom. This can lead to many fights and arguments between the two, which will only worsen things. If she just calls you up to talk about how youre doing in school or your plans for the weekend, it might seem like she only cares about making sure youre happy and healthy. An unhealthy relationship can also be characterized by a lack of communication between the two. How Long Does It Take to Forgive a Cheating Spouse? Something a lot of parents feel like they cant do in front of their kids is own up to making mistakes and potentially looking anything less than perfect. It can also be a way for the mother to control her son and make sure hes always including her in his plans. This is especially true in sons who have Borderline Personality Disorder or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_16',112,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0');In addition, he will hate his mother more if he feels she has disrespected his relationships. For example, a study in the academic journal Personal Relationships examined how adult attachment styles are influenced by how close the mother was to her children. Theyre also hurting their mothers, who are often the closest people to them in the world. If your son has experienced any kind of childhood trauma, it can lead to emotional and behavioral issues that will often be taken out on you. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1','ezslot_18',157,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-narrow-sky-1-0'); Sons need to feel that their mothers believe in them. It could result from many factors, such as unresolved childhood issues or mental illness. However, if the mother favors one child over another or treats them differently, then this may indicate an unwell relationship between the two. As such, Ive approached this topic sincerely and am happy to share with you what Ive learned about this paradoxical issue. Control is the issue at the heart of this conflict. Instead, years of suppressing negative emotions may affect the males development and ability to establish intimacy in future relationships. Instead, they should write from the heart and focus on being honest about how their sons behavior makes them feel. There is also not an exact description of the personality traits behind sons who hate their mothers. Some moms may not be good moms and play a part in the child's disrespect for their mother. This is a huge reason why sons disrespect their mothers. Set Healthy Boundaries; Work on Communication; Own Any Mistakes You've Made; Be Patient and Don't Hold a Grudge Another way to help sons understand how much their behavior hurts is for their mothers to write them letters. This can include things like son talking poorly, being disrespectful or rude, and even acting out violently towards you. This is more about helping their son understand where his actions come from so that he can make better choices about treating others around him in the future. The mother may also be too busy and only spend time with her son when she is forced to do so by circumstances. When sons are mean to their mothers, it takes a toll on her emotionally and mentally. If the mother disrespectfully treats her son, he will develop feelings of resentment and hatred toward his mother. As a mother who knows the pain of an adult child's rejection, I formed an online community and wrote a book to help parents abandoned by adult children: Done With The Crying: Help and Healing for Mothers of Estranged Adult Children. In normal conditions, this shift in the parent-child relationship does not lead to sons hating their mothers.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2','ezslot_13',111,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-leader-2-0'); Sons who hate their mothers may end up having a hard time developing and maintaining their own relationships as they grow into adulthood. Parents who have been alienated by those they raised. 5 Signs God Is Trying to Remove Someone from Your Life! There are unhealthy mother-son relationships where the mother will replace the relationship she should have with her partner for an emotional one of the same kind with her son. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1','ezslot_6',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-littleninjaparenting_com-banner-1-0');Although this psychological study examined later-born, not first-born, boys, it did illustrate how mothers may treat their sons differently and, in turn, could lead to negative effects. 2. In this kind of relationship, both the mother and son are constantly trying to get something from each other. This might be because she was too busy working or emotionally unavailable. In conclusion, it is clear that sons who treat their mothers poorly are likely to have a number of underlying issues. Mothers must try not to get angry as they write the letter. This can put a lot of pressure on him and ultimately lead to resentment. 20 Fun & Memorable Christmas Activities For Kids, How To Deal With Entitled Stepchildren: 9 Ways To Harmonize With Your New Family, How To Motivate A Teenager Who Doesnt Care: 14 Ways To Re-invigorate Your Child. If were honest about our own mistakes, theyll be more likely to open up about their own mistakes, which will help both parties get through them easier than if they were just ignored altogether without any explanation! This final act of estrangement is a characteristic of sons who hate their mothers. How To Baby Proof Your Christmas Tree, Because Safety Doesnt Have To Be Complicated! One study detailed the importance of coping strategies for mothers of adult sons with mental illness/disability. Much of what they describe, while conflict-laden and uncomfortable, doesn't seem bad enough . Remember, he is still learning how to be an adult. And i guarantee you that nothing hurts as much as a destroyed relationship between you and your mother. Mothers and sons can have a very special relationship, but what happens when that loving bond turns to loathing? Little Ninja Parenting is supported by participation in affiliate programs. Be careful not to overreact when your son makes a mistake. It will make him feel like he is not good enough or has done something wrong. You dont have to agree with everything he does and say yes when he asks for something, but you must trust him enough to give him the space he needs to find his way and make mistakes along the way. This can be clearly seen in the actions of males in particular. 6. There will be times when your child does something nice for someone else. Sons who treat their mothers poorly are often lost and confused. This kind of behavior can hurt the sons mental health and affect his life as an adult. 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