Monty: Oh, Baudelaire. [holding up a Fairy Liquid bottle with a strap and a tube]. There must and shall be aspirin! What is all this tactical necessity and calculated risk? The poets represented in the book include the Old Wykehamists John Crommelin-Brown, Lord Alfred Douglas, Robert Ensor, A. P. Herbert, George Huddesford, Lionel Johnson, William Lipscomb, Robert Seton-Watson, Thomas Adolphus Trollope . It's you he wants. They are playing poker with bottle tops and a . Bit early in the morning for festivities, isn't it? Withnail: You want me to call what's-his-name and ask him about his house? Withnail: You got a rush. Listen, Withnail, it's a stinker. "I fuck arses." I'm starving. These aren't accidents! No, his dog doesn't come up here. Of course he's the fucking farmer! Offer him yourself. Monty: It's the only solution to this intense cold. I'm the firelighter and fuel collector. And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. [voiceover] Withnail: Look at Geoff Woade. Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Get any more masculine than him and you'd have to live up a tree. Be seated. Monty: *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? What's your name, MacFuck? Why didn't I get any soup? I'm utterly arseholed. No fridges, no televisions, no phones. "I'm going to pull your head off, because I don't like your head.". Marwood: You lead him astray. Ive absolutely no interest in yours. 100% Upvoted. We can't go on like this. I must be ill. Monty: [Marwood knocks on the door of a farmhouse. Danny: You're looking very beautiful, man. I happen to think the cauliflower more beautiful than the rose. Warm up? You merely imagined it. 1 comment. It's ridiculous. Withnail: This is me, naked in a corner! The bastard's about to run at me! Why can't I get on television? The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it. Withnail: Isaac Parkin: It's impossible, I swear it. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. Nor women neither. I feel unusual. If my father was loaded I'd ask him for some money. Prostitutes for the bees. Flowers are essentially tarts. Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. Hare. I have a heart condition, if you hit me it's murder. [teary-eyed] Withnail: Sort: Relevant Newest # withnail and i # withnail and i # game of thrones cast # drunks # multimillionaires # gotcha # dave chappelle # i will # gotcha bitch Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. [Heckles pedestrian] Throw yourself into the road, darling, you haven't got a chance! Those are the kind of windows faces look in at. Monty: Danny: Give in to it, boy. Get into the countryside. You can never, never disguise it. A coward you are, Withnail! A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us. I do. Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. [after a phone call with his agent] 4 Mar. Jake: Withnail: The purveyor of rare herbs and prescribed chemicals is back. How can it be so cold in here? All right, this is the plan. There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! Saint Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. What's going on? We'll keep them here til they arrive. Withnail: I don't consciously offend big men like this. There is, you'll agree, a certain 'je ne sais quoi' oh so very special about a firm, young carrot. Because I want to walk you to the station. Monty: [approaching the pub] This may be the reason bald-headed men are uptight. I must be out of my mind. Withnail: Marwood: Withnail: It's like Greenland in here. Why have you drugged their onions?! Just you wait! Withnail: Why don't you wash up occasionally like any other human being? Throw yourself into the road, darling! Marwood: Come on lads, let's get home. His head must weight fifty pounds on its own. Irishman: Not the attitude I'd been given to expect from the H.E. Irishman: You've got a rush. Withnail: Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. Add spice to it. Probably wintering with his mother in Guildford. Marwood: You never discuss your family, do you? Oh, Christ almighty. You're not in the same boat. Withnail: Marwood: Marwood: Withnail: Tactical necessity. Marwood: Withnail: He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken]. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Danny: We mean no harm! Withnail: Danny: [on top of a hill, shouting into a valley, his voice echoing] That means we'll miss out on Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. I'll sleep here. [the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting]. The beauty of the world! Withnail: Matter. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. There can be no true beauty without decay. And how dare you tell him you rejected me?! I hope you guys like our collection. In fact, he'd probably tell you what he was going to do before he did it. Dont be ridiculous. Withnail: Easily move forward or backward to get to the perfect clip. Listen, I don't know what my f acquaintance did to upset you but it's nothing to do with me. Quotes.net. Then they must be delighted with your career. [Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. You're simply blackmailing your emotions to avoid the realities of your relationship with him. You will make it low. Little tarts, they love it! Im in the same boat. I assure you I'm not [drunk], officer, honestly. Withnail freezes in terror with a mouthful of pie]. Just say there are a couple of drunks in the Penrith tearooms and we want them removed. Monty clearly has some difficulty in reading the note. Will we never be set free? Withnail is cowering under the covers]. You beastly little parasite, how dare you! If I hear more words out of you, I'll put one of these here black pods on you. Look at us! Amy Audrey Locke's 1912 In Praise of Winchester offers an anthology of over 100 pages of prose and verse about Winchester College. Whats more popular than the movie itselfis, its amazing quotes. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Well neither have I. Withnail: In that case, "To a delightful weekend in the country.". [Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. [he pours the lighter fluid down his throat. It has voodoo qualities. [lunges towards the sink] An old woman with a clunky hearing aid pinned to her apron opens the door]. Quotes.net. Uncle Monty: Oh, my boys, my boys, forgive me. I mean, look at us! It'll happen. How noble in reason, how infinite in faculties! Danny: I happened to be looking for a suit for The Coalman two weeks ago. [about Danny] We don't want a rabbit, we want a pheasant. Marwood: Monty: quotes duty call warfare modern war. Easily "Withnail and I Quotes." Go with it. *Arrrgh*! Uncle Monty: Come on lads, let's get home, the sky's beginning to bruise. [Withnail suddenly runs out of the pub, so does Marwood], [Marwood is in the pub toilets, after walking past a hulking Irishman who's called him a ponce]. Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Withnail: Look at this; accident blackspot? I want something's flesh! Marwood stands there, petrified]. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid, Mr Parkin is sitting on his tractor with one leg wrapped from thigh to ankle in a plastic fertiliser bag. Headhunter to his friends. Then all at once those frozen hours melt out through the nervous system and seep out the pores. Withnail: I know how you feel and how difficult it is. Forgive me, it was inconsiderate of me not to have telegrammed. Withnail: STANDS4 LLC, 2023. St Peter preached the epistles to the apostles looking like that. [Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window]. Eggs and things. Don't vent spleen on me, I'm in the same boat! Danny's here. I imagine they're talking to each other. the web and also on Android and iOS. Prostitutes for the bees. How dare you tell him I'm a toilet trader?! The carrot has mystery. Withnail: Scrubbers! Withnail: One of us has got to stay on guard. [they stop and look at each other. Withnail: Here was a man with 3/4 of an inch of brain who'd taken a dislike to me. Monty: Keep back, keep back! I'm gonna be a star*! Uncle Monty: It is the most shattering experience of a young man's life when one morning he awakes and quite reasonably says to himself, "I will never play the Dane.". Withnail: You've got soup. As a youth, I used to weep in butchers' shops! How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack? When I come in, I seen one the size of a fucking dog. Uncle Monty: (referring to his cat) Yet again that oaf has destroyed my day! Man delights not me, no, nor women neither. I dislike relatives in general and in particular mine. What is it? Got a bit carried away. [Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff] He's an expert. Tea Shop Proprietor: And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. It's too hot so he drops it]. My brain's capsizing. In this case, it most certainly would not. Withnail: (Wry smile) Sorry about that. Throwing themselves into the road gladly to escape all this hideousness! Withnail: I tried not to. You just wait. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Look at me, I'm 30 in a month and I've got a sole flapping off my shoe. There is, youll agree, a certain je ne sais quoi oh so very special about a firm, young carrot.. Black puddings are no good to us. But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" "It's gone. I was gonna cook onions. What have you done to them? We've got to get some booze. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. We shall buy this place and fire you immediately. My heart's beating like a fucked clock! Withnail: Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. Withnail: Nonsense. We're in the middle of a f***ing gale. You are invited to spend an hilarious weekend in the English countryside. Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity! Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. The only programme I'm likely to get on is the fucking news. But now he's stopped he's much better in our sex life and in our general life." Here.". Danny: *Get-in-the-back-of-the-van*! Withnail: [pulling back the lace curtain] A little before your time. Marwood: I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! Well, don't. There is a certain je ne sais quoi - oh, so very special - about a firm, young carrotExcuse me Uncle Monty: I mean to have you, even if it must be burglary! Danny: Withnail: Alas I have little more than vintage wine and memories. Policeman 1: Marwood: Withnail: [seeing a road sign reading "ACCIDENT BLACK SPOT. Withnail: I say, you know what we should do? Change down, man. Screaming like a madman he moves towards the bull, which turns around and runs back through the gate. Danny: Danny: Then why's he wearing that old suit? This ain't fancy dress." I'm a friend of Montague Withnail's. Even a stopped clock gives the right time twice a day And for once I'm inclined to believe that Withnail is right We are indeed, drifting into the arena of the unwell making an enemy of our own future What we need is harmony, fresh air, stuff like that. Isaac Parkin: [noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes] Rejuvenate? Withnail: You've had an audition. How like an angel in apprehension! He slams it shut and slumps against it, shaken, a few minutes later, Withnail re-enters the cottage holding a wet stick, Withnail sees Marwood eating some brownish fluid out of a bowl with a spoon, Monty's Rolls-Royce pulls up outside the window, looking at the kitchen sink overflowing with dirty dishes, he picks up the kettle on the stove. Peter Marwood (I): Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day. Withnail and I Quotes. [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum! And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory. Withnail: Withnail: I've always been fond of root crops but I only started to grow last summer. How dare you. [narrating over scene] Listen, I think you should strangle it instantly in case it starts trying to make friends with us. [she still doesn't answer. Listen, you young prat. Marwood: "Geoff Woade is feeling better and is now prepared to step back into society and start tossing his orb about." Be seated. I assure you I'm not, officer. It'll pass. Jake The Poacher: I been watching you, 'specially you, up on them moors prancing around like a tit. Time change. Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. I must have some booze. Withnail: The purveyor of rare herbs and proscribed chemicals is back. Will we never be set free? No, I'd better go. Monty: If you're hanging onto a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision. "Withnail and I Quotes." I called him a ponce. Monty, Monty! So here we are gonna talk about some of thebest quotes from the movie. Withnail: Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. Marwood: 2010 Drama 24M views 2 years ago Uncle Monty - the end of an age ohheckforgotusername 157K views 11 years ago Withnail & I 30. Withnail: Withnail: I fail to see my familys of any interest to you. No, I haven't got another. 1 likes. We've gone on holiday by mistake. Evidently country people are no more receptive to strangers than city-dwellers. Danny: The police, Miss Blennerhassett. Required fields are marked *. Just because the best tailoring you've ever seen is above your fucking appendix doesn't mean anything! Why doesn't he retire? "I'm gonna pull you head off." And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of *dust*? The meaning dawns on him. I mean to have you even if it must be burglary. Danny: . We can't go on like this. Uncle Monty: I've been preparing myself to forgive you. I can never touch meat until it's cooked. Look at this - accident blackspot? I would say. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. 'He used to pick on me. Why can't I have an audition? Imagine getting into a fight with the fucker! No, man, this was more like a long white hat. It's you he wants. You have made it high. We're doing a feature for Country Life. Ah! Find the exact My heart's beating like a f***ed clock! You know, farmers, travelling tinkers, milkmen, that sort of thing. We are not drunks, we are multimillionaires! [voiceover] Withnail & I is in my personal Top 5 movies of all time for re-watchablity and scathing dialogue. Raymond Duck. And now I'm calling you one. Then the fucker will rue the day! Marwood: A coward you are, Withnail! Get that damned little swine out of here! He winces as he stretches his leg, the drunken, elderly pub landlord opens the till and it hits it him the chest and he almost falls down, they go and sit down at a table with their drinks, fondling the money Monty has given them to buy Wellingtons, a poacher enters the pub with pheasants stuffed under his coat, making him look like a hunchback, he pulls Withnail's cigarette out of his mouth and puts it in his, after having entirely covered himself in muscle embrocation to keep warm, Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor, Marwood comes out of the bathroom wearing a towel, Withnail has been pulled over by the police for speeding down the motorway in the beat-up Jaguar, gesturing at the wine bottles and Marwood in the back, in a telephone box, speaking to an operator, noticing the plastic bags that Withnail is wearing over his shoes, after being threatened by Jake the poacher, Danny offers Withnail his huge Camberwell Carrot spliff, Marwood is leaving to go to Manchester to do a play. Night must fall and we shall be forced to camp. Why have you drugged their onions?! I was merely making an observation. The man was fined $10,000 and was ordered to pay $1,843 in restitution to Maine. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose! And here we are, we three, perhaps the last island of beauty in the world. Well, that can't be sensible, can it? But sooner or later you've got to get out because it's crashing. Clip from Withnail & I Rest in happy peace Richard Griffiths ! Monty: This is a device enabling the drunken driver to operate in absolute safety. Marwood: Dealt with them? Withnail:I'll not have this shag sack insulting me! I'm not gonna understudy anybody. Change down, man, find your neutral space. I don't advise a haircut, man. Marwood: You know what we should do? Press J to jump to the feed. There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. The carrot has mystery. And the Coalman looks at him and says "You think *you* look normal, your honour?" Listen to me, listen to me! The only thing youre in that Ive been in is this ****ing bath! Danny: It's got to warm up. Web. Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. Withnail and I Quotes. This is a court, man. Monty: You can use the left-hand menu to view some of the most popular quotes from the main Withnail and I characters . Waitress: Isaac Parkin: It's like a tide. I know you're not asleep, boy. Marwood: Ponce! Withnail: Ive told you why. Hello? That means we'll miss out Monday but come up smiling Tuesday morning. They pick up signals from the cosmos and transmit them directly into the brain. tags: humour, withnail-i. Withnail: What do you want? It will die, it will die! Laisse-moi, respirer, longtemps, longtemps, l'odeur de tes cheveux. [he picks up the kettle on the stove. But sooner or later you got to get out, because it's crashing. Danny: Relax, man, find your neutral space. Withnail: That's what you'd say, but that wouldn't wash with Geoff. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. I don't advise a haircut, man. Withnail: Where is he? Brings back such memories of Oxford. A cat, and the rain Vim under the sink, and both bars on. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. Listen, we're bona fide, we're not from London. [holding up a pill] : Withnail and I. I find the quote read by Monty from the note written by the poacher very usable: "Here, Hare, here." Surely Herr Hare Here. What should we do? So he looks at the Coalman and says, "What's all this? I'm not going to understudy anybody. Withnail: Withnail And I - Wikipedia en.m.wikipedia.org. Got busted coming back through Heathrow. Withnail: Why can't I have an audition? Monty: Trying for even more advantage. Outvie him. And it isn't his fault he cannot love you any more than it's mine that I adore you. Withnail: All right, this is the plan. What have you found? It's like Greenland in here. 'He used to get in bad tempers and act up,' said his wife. Because I don't advise it. [shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement]. Marwood: Jesus Christ! Dosed 'em. Marwood: That's what you say. If your father was my father you wouldn't get it. Withnail: DRIVE WITH EXTREME CARE", shouts out of the car window at a man standing on the pavement, Withnail and Marwood are lying in bed together, listening to a man coming inside the cottage. I want something's flesh! Talk:Withnail and I. Marwood: Find the exact moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. I adore you. Jake: An expert on bulls you are not! Here hare here!" Bruce Robinson, Withnail and I: the Original Screenplay. I'd never have wanted it, not with him in it! I have a heart condition. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Hello? This is the reason bald-headed men are uptight. Withnail: I'm not going to understudy anybody. You know what we should do? Especially that little pimp! Withnail: It's like Greenland in here. Chin-chin. Yeah, I know, but I got the logs in. Marwood stands there, petrified, the bull is scraping the ground with its front hoof, snorting, he throws the shopping the air and it scatters in the mud. Danny: Danny's a genius. Marwood: Suits me. We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! They can handle the kaftan, they can't handle the bell. Monty: We've got to get some booze. Gi' me one in t' knee. It can utilise up to 12 skins. Withnail: Tactical necessity. How dare you! Withnail: I've some extremely distressing news. Monty: Peter Marwood (I): We want the finest wines available to humanity! Withnail and I is a comedy-drama film which got pretty popular. withnail. Black puddings are no good to us. Withnail: [toasting with a drink] Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Dead down the drain? He leans up close to her, speaking into to her hearing aid]. General: This *is* the morning. [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. What a piece of work is a man. What's in your hump? Here hare here? I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. So, there's this judge sitting there in a cape like fucking Batman with this really rather far-out looking hat. [they go and sit down at a table with their drinks]. At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. Half an hour? Here is the clip. He can eat his ****ing radish. I shall miss you too. His sister give him the idea. Withnail: Marwood: Uncle Monty: Oh my boys, my boys, we are at the end of an age! You'll all suffer! He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning. Withnail: Look at my tongue. Me? He is even taller than Withnail and much more burly. I'm preparing myself to forgive you. Withnail: [whispering] He's going into your room.
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